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Elementary School-Aged Kids
Reply to "High Achieving Parent With Average/Below-Average Kids"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I absolutely understand and empathize. Why so much hate from people on this board. OP hasn't said anything about the way he raises his kids or that these feelings are the dominant feelings he has about his kids. Any parent who has achieved a lot of academic and career success will, at least at some level, wish their kids to have academic success--among other talents. Doesn't everyone want the best for their kids? The challenge is really how to sort through these wishes and feelings among a complex set of other feelings & wishes. I'm sure that OP's first and foremost feeling & wish is that the kids are loved, healthy and happy. That being said--we can all talk about F500 execs or entrepreneurs who were late bloomers or didn't go to top schools, etc. but let's be realistic: [b]Top school alums make up a high proportion of very highly financially successful people...not a majority but a very high proportion. If you count ivy, stanford, mit, duke, uchicago, northwestern, amherst, williams, swarthmore, ucberkley, ucla, michigan, etc and look at both undergrad and/or grad students it's a very high percentage.[/b] [/quote] This. This is what matters at the end of the day. As much as everyone says "whatever makes them happy" -- they have been raised in a very cushy life with plenty of things, cars, vacations etc. -- I guarantee you ending up in a 85k job where you maybe get a driving vacation to a local beach every other year will NOT make them happy. So I don't get the hate from the other PPs. Sure there are those exceptions of -- my boss went to blah blah community college and is now a CEO. Great. But the closest thing in life to a 'guarantee' (and I realize there are no complete guarantees) is to get into one of those schools and study something marketable and start making good money young and investing. If you all don't want to push that -- fine -- but I do.[/quote] Almost everyone knows money isn't the end-all/be-all. There are plenty of people with money that are unhappy.[b] However, this question is really for those that are successful financially: do you want your kids to be able live at least a similar lifestyle to the one you are raising them in? That's a problem that high-achievers face--it may be a good problem to have and I'm sure everyone is about to break out their "world's tiniest violin" and all but it is something high achievers think about if they actually care about their children--as opposed to the ones that want to show off how much they can spend.[/b] Good schooling is something that leads to a higher chance of success--of course it doesn't guarantee it. Would you rather have your kids be mediocre and go to a school where the chance of financial success is far lower? All of you preachy types that say you want your kids to be happy--are you successfully financially (not that you may care at all). If you aren't then I totally get it. If you are and you don't care about your kids achieving then do you spend at a moderate lifestyle level? Or are you taking international vacations, etc in the name of "life experience" and "life learning" for your kids? Are they going to have the HHI when they grow up to be able to continue that lifestyle they have grown accustomed to? Think about it...[/quote] This. Yes I want my children to live in the manner they are accustomed, which requires significant income. If PPs who are acting holier than thou don't want that, that's great for them. But I know my kids, I know what will make them unhappy and for my kids -- they would not be happy on an 85k paycheck to paycheck lifestyle where they can't pick up and go on vacation tomorrow across the country or world bc they need to save up for a year first.[/quote] I don’t go to a top college. I make a LOT more than $85k per year. I expect A’s and B’s from my kids but have no particular preference about whether they go to a top school. [b]I expect that they will also be high income[/b]. The glaring problem with your analysis is that you acknowledge that most high income people didn’t go to top schools- so it doesn’t follow that if people don’t go to top schools, they won’t be successful. I also think going to a top school is most common among a certain social set, which for reasons that have nothing to do with their college choices, are more likely to be successful. [/quote] Depends on your definition of high income...if you are talking about $500k HHI then sure, dual income households can be successful getting there. To be honest, $400k - 500k is basically nearly entry level for combined HHI for two married NYC JD, MBA, or MD professionals. But if you are talking net worths of $10m+ that's another ballgame--that population is over indexed to Ivys.[/quote] I’m comfortable with my kids making in the $400k-$500k range. That’s what our income is right now. I won’t think of them as average or below average because they failed to make $10m a year. I think that would be a very unusual requirement for any parent of any income. [/quote]
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