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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Please explain to us how the conversation went when you told this "friend" about your plans. Did she ask you what you were doing to spring break or did you initiate? She must be a fairly close friend for you to give not just the destination, but also the resort/hotel.[/quote] This is OP. In a text she asked me, “Are you guys still going to XYZ over break.” I thought nothing of it, and actually assumed she was going to ask us to make some other plans with her, so I said, “Yes, we booked months ago, actually.” Then she said, “Great! We will be there then too! We can hang out while the kids play!” I haven’t said a thing to her since.[/quote] Wait, why would you assume she booked tickets because of that exchange? I would have assumed from that exchange that she'd separately made plans, coincidentally the same place, and then found out through the grapevine that you were going there too. I would not have necessarily assumed that it was done to spend time with you. You might still be right of course, that's also a reasonable deduction, but I don't think I would have assumed that was fact.[/quote] We had discussed it! She knew the time and place from my own mouth! I realize that was my mistake, but I can’t change that now. [/quote] Here are your options: 1) change your plans and go somewhere else (that would be my preferred option, but it may not be a practical one for you) 2) tell her you want to focus on your family during vacation and hope she gets the hint (this hinges on her not be obtuse) 3) make specific plans with her now, and then do your best to avoid her during the rest of the trip (this rests on hoping that by making specific plans, she'll leave you alone the rest of the time. But that's risky.) 4) come totally clean with her and ask her why she booked for same time/place as you and tell her that it makes you feel uncomfortable. (this option means you'll probably ruin her vacation and lose the friendship.) No matter what you choose, I would also distance myself from her. It seems like she has boundary issues. It's fine if she wanted to vacation with you, but it's very weird that she didn't say anything BEFORE booking the trip. I'm not saying it was malicious, but it does show that she doesn't understand healthy boundaries, especially if she's already suggesting you hang out. While this vacation will come and go, her boundary issues will eventually manifest in other ways, especially if she is left to believe this was a good idea and is rewarded for doing it. [/quote]
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