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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Men really need to understand that women feel so much pressure to have babies when they're at the fertile best. Women sometimes will "settle" on a marriage, to have the babies. I'm sorry you're experiencing this, OP. Men are just clueless when it comes to women. Some women enjoy sex. Some women enjoy sex only with men they're very attracted to (and no, the MGTOW morons are wrong that abusers and bullies and jerks are attractive to women).

I've been told by women that they "settled" when they married their husbands, because the clock was ticking and they wanted to have kids. Or their finances weren't in order. Or they were going back to school.

You're not getting it. If it wasn't there before, what makes you think it's going to be there now?

Couples need those hot sexy can't keep our hands off of each other memories from when they first started dating to get through the drudgery of married life over the long haul. And things will improve.

However, if you never had that hot sexy can't keep our hands off of each other time in your relationship, what makes you think after 14 years it's her hormones or stress from having kids? [/quote]

This is so true. My husband is a great person. Love him. Great father. We have wonderful kids, we are settled down, in our early 50s. But [b]I never ever had the hot sexy can't keep my hands off you sex with him (I think he did with me,[/b] but, that's for him to say). [b]And now I can't even imagine it. I certainly can imagine it with others ..[/b]..[/quote]

So you are a user. You know full well you went into a marriage giving him the impression you were in "Great father. We have wonderful kids, we are settled down, in our early 50s. But I never ever had the hot sexy can't keep my hands off you " type love but he was safe ,boring and stable. Women have to live this lie or their ride will end. You should tell him everything you wrote and see how well your marriage goes. You wont because the lie is what holds it together. [/quote]

No, I just didn't even REALIZE what was happening. But, hey, we are still having sex 2-3x/week, even if I can't imagine the "can't keep my hands off you sex"  with him. You tell me: Are my actions (regular, good, enthusiastic sex fueled by fantasy) more important than my thoughts (I'm just not THAT attracted to husband)?  I don't know. I think virtually zero men on this board would turn down decent sex 120x/year because their wife is somewhat bored, but likes sex enough to keep having it with him (not starfish sex. I'm an enthusiastic partner, even if I do fantasize a lot).

So what, I traded attraction for stability. My DH traded somebody who finds him super sexy for somebody who will have regular sex with him. He gets it more than most of you.[/quote]

Your post painted an image that is far cry from your reply. Your reply makes a lot more sense and sounds like you are reasonable. Sounds fair, he is more than likely fantasizing about someone else too, no big deal. [/quote]

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