Reply to Lots of friend's kids aren't getting jobs post college. Is this common?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel that this is a consequence of helping our kids with everything, teachers who are afraid of the fallout if they fail a kid, kids always being given extra credit opportunities if they failed at something. That just isn’t real life. When you get so used to having things given to you, or laid out in such a way that it’s impossible for you to fail, you lose out on sharpening the tools of competing, working for something, earning your place. Many kids today just haven’t had to really EARN anything. I coached a collegiate sport and even in college, sure, the kids have a difficult test or something, but the professors and the school hold 17 review sessions and give them all the answers in advance. That’s not teaching any kind of skill other than memorization. It’s not working to help this generation. [/quote]

As a teacher, I agree with you. A lot of parents just don't understand this, however. Then they get in administration's ear when they believe their child has been slighted in the slightest way and admin challenges our decisions because they don't want to have to hear about it. It's a vicious cycle. [/quote]

As a parent of a 21, 17, and 14 year old, I also agree.  One other thing I've noticed is that parents don't do anything to help manage their kids' expectations about what it means to get started as an adult.  We made our oldest live at college, although he could have commuted, because he didn't want to have to live somewhere that wasn't as nice as his room at home.  Parents have to be willing to let their kids know and experience the life of a young, "poorer" person rather than helping them expect that they're entitled to at 22 what it took their parents a lifetime to achieve.

My oldest graduates in December and will start a professional job in his field in January.  [/quote]

I’m the first quotes PP and my parents were like yours. My sibling and I weren’t allowed to commute to college—we had to live at school all 4 years. We also had a very strict, meager allowance while we were there and if we got a parking ticket or something it came out of our allowance. I don’t even think my parents knew my professors’ names, let alone interfere with their methods of teaching me! Their whole thing was that we needed to go out on our own (as much as you could while still a student), learn how to budget, learn how to make mistakes and fix them ourselves. I appreciate them raising me that way and it sounds like you’re doing a great job too. [/quote]

Thanks!  I'm the PP you replied to.  We aren't involved in our kids' school work at all, even the 8th grader's, unless they have a problem they haven't been able to resolve on their own or if they aren't taking care of their business.  We will help them study or proofread if they're stuck.  Fortunately, they do take care of what they need to do and get good grades, so they don't give us a reason to micromanage.  They do know, though, that if they slack, it'll be real ugly for them, lol.[/quote]

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