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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]08:26 I agree with what you say.  The only problem is that OP is delusional and can't bring herself to thinking that way right now. People in affairs are riding high on intoxicating feelings and brain chemicals.  They wear off in a long term relationship, like she found out in her marriage.  But the trick is to not go looking for the intensity of new romance again, but to figure how to make a marriage good over the long term.

09:58 is still confused.  [b]Trying to control your feelings is like trying to keep a beach ball under the water continuously.  It makes things worse, and is probably why you felt you couldn't do it.  You should've completely let go of each other and given it much more time with no contact, no agreements and no expectations.  If you allowed yourself to simply feel the discomfort, without rushing in to fix or control it, the intense feelings would've slowly dissipated over time and other relationships and good things in your life would've come around to fill up the space.[/b] Too late for you now, though.

What you don't know is why it's a good idea to seek counseling before blowing up your life and especially that of any children.

[/quote]

Wow! That is REALLY well put. Spot on, fantastic advice. [/quote]

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