Reply to Want to leave DH for lover

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[quote=taketothebank]To the PP at 9:58, a number of things you said are fair.  I am not better or superior to you.  I have my own mistakes, sins, etc. and I own that they are mine and mine alone.  The semantics issue issue is related to the fact that in your posts you do not own your actions. 
 
[quote]We did everything by the book, to cause as little hurt as possible. The only thing we could have done differently is not fall in love. And, maybe it wasn't like this for you, but your experience is not universal. For me, it felt beyond my control. I attempted to control my feelings and so did he. [/quote]

It felt beyond your control?  Did you run and jump is his arms every time you saw him?  Kiss him in public?  Call him or visit when you knew he was with his wife?  No. You could and did control your actions.  We are all judged based on our actions, not our feelings.  It is the result of your actions that his marriage ended.  Neither your feelings nor mine control our actions.  We do what do because we choose to.  The correct semantics are not "I fell in love" but "I wanted to be with him and I helped him leave his wife so we could be together."  You made this choice and I do not judge you for it.  What I cannot stand are phrases like "it felt beyond my control" because they are an attempt to use an external force to justify the results of a choice you made, the results of which may be uncomfortable.

[quote]Have none of you EVER looked around and thought "how did I get here?" Have none of you ever found yourself in a morally gray area?[/quote]

I have looked around and asked what were the choices I made to get here and why did I make them when I have found myself in a morally gray (or dark) area.  Let us make no mistake.  I made the decisions that put me where I was, not some magically force acting on me.[/quote]

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