Reply to Bday Party Question? Invite just 3-4 out of 9 to sleepover (is it rude?)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]One of my daughter's close friends had a massive party and a handful of girls slept over.  It wasn't weird or rude at all.  None of the girls discussed it and the kids who slept over had been really good friends for years mixed in with many newer friends from a brand new school.[/quote]

This is common in my boys circle.  They are surprisingly discreet and don't tell others.  Parents sneak in overnight gear.

We've been on both sides.

Maybe there's less "mean girl" type stuff amongst boys--but never hard feelings.  Hug group of friends with smaller closer subsets.[/quote]

We’ve done this, but only with 1-2 kids sleeping over. We also were discrete about hiding the sleeping bags. But almost half the party sleeping over is too much in my opinion.

[/quote]

Because you couldn't do it another day?

Honestly I don't really know what's wrong with people like you.  [/quote]

Honestly, why? Why should I have to schedule a separate sleepover AFTER the party is over? Even if the other kids find out about it, this is a small disappointment in the scheme of things.  Instead of complaining, YOU can talk to your child about how you cannot always be invited (just has I have with my own and she has lived to tell about it).[/quote]

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the genesis of the mean girl. Why on earth would I modify what I want to do to accommodate others?  You might want to talk to YOUR child about tact, and courtesy and how just because it is your birthday doesn't mean you get to do everything you want. I can see your daughter as the annoying one who is parading around the bar in a tiara and a sash demanding drinks because "ITS MY BIRTHDAY!"[/quote]

This post made me laugh out loud.  You don't know what the eff you're talking about and no exactly nothing about my DD. Just goes to show not to make assumptions.  But if you equate this as "exclusion" you have terrible issues.  Let me guess, you're the one constantly posting that their obsessing over FB posts of people out with friends and you weren't invited? My DD deals with "exclusion" in a more adult manner than you're representing here. [/quote]

So according to you it would be totally socially appropriate to invite Harvey, Irma, Maria and Joseph over for dinner at your home and at the conclusion of the meal thank Harvey and Irma for coming with only Maria and Joseph staying for dessert since well, you have known them longer?[/quote]

Are you being deliberately obtuse? No, it would not be appropriate b/c dessert is part of the meal.  The sleepover was not. It was after the "no gifts" party, after I fed them, entertained them, and gave out goodie bags.  Everyone had a good time. And two children discretely stayed over (no, I have no way to prove they never found out but I didn't rub it in their faces, the same way I don't talk about other social engagements in front of other adults).

Look, if you want to judge me as a "mean girl" or a bitch or rude or whatever from one decision, that's fine. If I defend myself with examples of my friendships and good things I do (which are many), you'll find some way to complain. It's a no win situation. But, lucky for me, I don't need your approval.  It all worked out and i would do it again. You are way, way too invested in your child's social life and way to sensitive to "exclusion." I fundamentally disagree that this was exclusion but so be it. Carry on and flame away.  [/quote]

If dessert is part of the meal, how is the sleepover not part of the party. Come on! In any event, I don't know if you are a good or a bad person, what I do know is that your stace on this is less than kind. Good people don't always do the right thing.  The fact that you feel the need to even make mention of the friendships you have and the good things you do means that at some level you know this isn't right or kind. And the definition of "exclusion" is as follows: the act or an instance of excluding or the state of being excluded.  Example sentence: Polly had a party but excluded some of the girls from the sleepover. [/quote]

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