Reply to ONS had a child - How screwed am I?

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[quote=Anonymous]The value and importance of a child are not defined by it being the product of a ONS or a meticulous plan by a married couple. It just does not matter if this was casual sex and you weren't planning on having a child. Being a father is not optional, hence child support mandated by the law.  You can't simply rescue yourself out of the situation. Well, for women that was never the case anyway - bearing the brunt of abortion, single motherhood, abandonment, etc. have fallen squarely over a woman's shoulders.

It's your obligation to act in the best interest of the child. That means approaching the mother with an open heart and good intentions. You need to acknowledge what she's likely been through, showing up pregnant from a ONS, going through those 9 months and now raising a child alone. This is incredibly tough, although if you've been fighting her in court it just shows how out of touch you are.

Start from there, and try to build an amicable relationship with the mother, by showing goodwill and intent to be part of the child's life. Take one step at a time, but try to let your guard down, because all your calculations are really worthless at this point. You are not screwed. You are a father, or maybe slowly becoming one. Take time to absorb this new reality by dealing with it, instead of escaping it.[/quote]

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