Reply to Rising High School Senior just decided to extend his trip...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is this out of character for him? I am curious about how he let you know about his plans..  Did he call you or just send an email?  In any case, take this opportunity to take a deep breath and think about your conversation when he does arrive home. Let your DH take the lead with your son. Sometimes a naggy mom doesn't have the same impact.  It is time for a discussion about respect, trust etc. This would seriously cross the line in my household. While I always supported my 2 boys, they would NEVER inform me of a 6 day vacation change. Don't allow him to pull the "I am an adult" card. Remind him that if he wants to be an adult, his college tuition is HIS responsibility.[/quote]

OP here again and thank you everyone.  Okay - so... 
DS let us know by text.  A sort of "by the way..." and is now unreachable as they are somewhere in rural Sweden with, apparently, no cell service.  I don't believe it but can't prove it.

He totally paid for this trip with his own money.  He had a great summer job and worked hard.

He is not in any fall sport and his schedule is set - but he is senior class president and probably should have been back before school starts to do stuff... but I am not even sure about that.

He is a top student - very responsible with grades/school work and actually very responsible about helping his younger siblings.

He DOES live and eat at home as well as drive our car - but has been tutoring for extra money and hasn't asked us for much since he's been 14.

He will, most likely, get a merit and/or need based scholarship to college.

I am calmer now - thank you all - but[b] just sad.  I miss him.  I feel like he went to college already and he's gone.  I just miss him.[/b]  [/quote]

This is what you're really feeling. You've just described a responsible, reliable kid. He's grabbed his freedom rather than waiting for you to give it to him. When you told him things like, "You can go on this trip if you pay for it," you also implicitly told him he could start living life as an adult.

You are doing great as a parent! It just hurts to know he's ready to go, and you thought you had more time.[/quote]

OP, he sounds like a great kid. He sounds like he has a good head on his shoulders. He sounds like he made a decision that he may regret in the very short term a tiny bit due to jet lag, but won't regret one whit long term. This was his decision to make. FWIW, not sure if other folks have already stated this, but kids in that part of the world also have more autonomy earlier, in my experience. [/quote]

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