Reply to DH has affair & baby

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "DH has affair & baby - did you stay? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've never been there, so obviously I can't say for sure how I'd respond. But I'd like to think that if I could otherwise forgive the affair, that a child also resulted from it wouldn't be a deal-breaker. The child is completely innocent in the whole situation, and I hope I would find the grace to forgive my husband and welcome the child into my family. After all, that child would be born into a pretty messed situation no matter what I do, but if I could provide an environment where that child could have a positive relationship with his father, where my children could have a positive relationship with their half-sibling that isn't tinged with bitterness over the child being the cause of their parent's divorce, I would like to think I could be a big enough person to do that. Maybe even a big enough person to have a good relationship with the child myself.[/quote]

I AM there and I can tell you it's not sunshine and daffodils no matter how magnanimous you think you can be. First, it doesn't matter how much you want to welcome the child to the family; the OW may refuse to let the child see you or visit your home so all your good intentions are for nothing. Second, this child's relationship with his father is entirely outside your control and don't think that it isn't.  The relationship between the children will be tinged with all kinds of things - how can it not be, when one has an intact family, and one doesn't, because the first one does?

There are no pretty options here.  I'm living this and I can tell you all this menu has is shit sandwiches.

I concern myself with protecting my children and that's the extent of what is in my power. Let other people deal with the rest. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics