Reply to Husband has a "one that got away!". Not sure how I feel

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So the kids are away at camp for the first time.  It's given husband and I more time to talk.

But then last night, he started telling me how he never knows how much he is allowed to tell me.  That raised a lot of curiosity so of course I asked.  And then he shared, kind of quietly, about how he had been planning to marry the girlfriend before me but she broke his heart.

It's actually a sad story so I mostly feel bad for my husband. They had been dating for 4 years when he was young, after college.  He was in grad school and she was working. They had travelled throughout Europe together. He then took her to a wedding -- at a wedding when the rule was "no ring, no bring" because he was planning to propose.  But at the wedding, she told him that she had met someone else on a work trip and they broke up.

He met me about 6 months later before he had a chance to get over her.  I knew he dated her and that she called but he never told me how serious they were. And he always described her as having a lot if problems which is why he'd have to take her calls even during dinner. She had been raped multiple times before he met her and she was bulimic and suicidal and refused therapy so he was worried for good reasons.  And she then got married to that guy that she left my husband for and we never heard from her and we got married.  So I thought it was a girl that my husband was not really into.

I had seen some photos hidden in some letters years ago with a bunch of his boxes and I threw it away, thinking that he didn't even realize that he had it. When we moved in together, an entire room was his boxes, so when I was on maternity leave, I went through them and almost everything got thrown away.  But now I get that he was saving those letters and felt like that was the woman who got away.
I now feel like I was my husband's second choice and he says it's silly because he married me and not her, but is it silly?  I mean, he took her on a European tour when he had no money and we've done nothing like that.  He got his friends to make an exception to the no ring, no bring rule on the one wedding at the time, and in the 10 weddings when we were dating, he didn't ask for an exception once or even bring me to weddings when he had a plus one until we got engaged (like his sister's!).[/quote]

OP you are an insecure and pathetic person.  I feel sorry for your DH.  My wife would have been on her way to ex-Wife if she threw away my links to my past without talking to me first, regardless of whether or not she had just given birth.  Sounds like your DH likes to choose the wrong women to be in serious relationships with, at least definitely in your case.  [/quote]

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