Reply to An explanation and request from a mom of a kid with autism

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[quote=Anonymous]OK OP,  here are some specific things in your OP that struck me as being self-centered (on behalf of your child):

in the pool not the baby pool, mind you, and other places for him, as marked, and we have had issues with parents of young children getting irate and furious with us. 
-	I don’t believe that babies and toddlers are restricted from being in the pool.  While the baby pool is restricted to kids under x age, the regular pool is not reserved for people above that age.

But it's important that he be allowed to figure this stuff out. 
-	Your son’s need to be allowed to figure things out does not trump others’ right to engage in normal play in the pool, park, playground, etc.  Others are not obliged to allow you to use their kids as a learning experience.  
But you can avoid some of this by doing things like 
bringing your baby in a huge floaty into the little kids area of the pool where kids are playing. 
-	Again, not my obligation to avoid your kid

Bringing huge amounts of toys to the park. 
-	People are free to bring what they want to the park

Yelling at other kids when their parent is right there. 
-	Obviously people should not be yelling at your kid unless it’s a health/safety issue.  Spitting might make that cut for some people.

I'm not letting him interfere with your child's safety or happiness. 
-	If your son is spitting, taking people’s toys, or otherwise engaging in inappropriate behavior, then he is interfering in the happiness and perhaps the safety of others (spitting).  Now I don’t know if you are “letting” him.  Don’t know how strongly you are intervening to prevent negative interactions with others, or put an end to them.  Your statement that your son needs to be “allowed to figure this stuff out” suggests that you might not be intervening as actively as perhaps other parents might think is warranted.  Which is fine.  You do you.  But you can’t control how they are going to feel about the interactions with your kid, or how they are going to react.

He's learning. Cut kids some slack.  
-	Agreed that people should not be irately yelling at a 5 year old.

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