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[quote=Anonymous]OP - I guess summing it up
- you sort of overreacted to your first visit at BIL/SIL's house.  We all had those horrible situations and like the pp, some are worse than others (pp - yours sounded horrible.  ugh.) mine was similar in that it was at a beach house, but I could leave the house - but didn't have a car - so limited to walking only as far as I could go with a toddler (without stroller, since it was in the back of the car they took) and baby.

- you refuse to ever visit again, yet you blame BIL and SIL for not visiting you guys.  I would guess that they know about your rant and said, well if they won't visit us, we won't visit them.

- They are being petty and wrong to not invite you and your kids.  And they were trying to do it without anyone noticing (I'm guessing) by not sending any invitations, but then just sending an email about the date and location of the event.  I do wonder what would have happened if all of you just showed up per the email without even thinking too much into it.

- Your DH is stuck between a rock and a hard place, but he needs to realize it's his Brothers doing - not yours.  And if all other things were good, it really wouldn't have been a big deal for him to go solo, would it?  I mean, there are events in our family where I can't make it because of work and/or money so DH will go solo to represent the family and no one cares.  Maybe for this, it could be treated the same way.

- you need to let DH know that it is hurtful to be excluded from a major event.  That's all - that you are hurt, that your kids (once they are old enough) will see what is happening and will be hurt, and he needs to defend you and his kids.  How he does that can be discussed/negotiated, but it has to be done.

- Oh and when you talk to your DH about this, maybe you can offer your perspective that you didn't think you did anything, but if he knows why they hate you, you'd be willing to work with them to fix that.  Like if you maybe say or do something that offends them, you'll do your best to stop saying/doing those things.  But they need to make an effort too.[/quote]

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