Reply to I'd like to tell Sheryl Sandberg to STFU.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm torn. I agree with some of what she has to say in Lean In particularly the parts before having kids. The parts about after having kids really only appeal if you want a certain type of job and family life (two nannies, chef, driver, etc).  I was close to being that ambitious and admire those who are, but it isn't for me.

I also am extremely close with multiple people who have worked for her fairly high up at FB. While she is super smart and can be quite charming, she also can be quite nasty and is only forgiving to those with families if they are her pets (there's a joke there about getting a new FOSS - friend of Sheryl Sandberg - installed over you). I know at least two people who had a "no kids while at Facebook" rule because the ability to "lean in" and be a parent was limited to a select few (i.e., not even Zuck's sister). Doing the kind of job she does also requires incredible resources at home and sacrifices in terms of time with your kids, and I don't think she was candid about that.

I feel terribly about the loss of her husband, who was by all accounts a terrific guy. But she's a mixed bag for a lot of reasons.[/quote]

I have heard simlar and have met her more than once socially,  i do believe that she honestly wants to help people, but is clueless about how much her life differs from even other successful upper class peers.[b]  She travels constantly and often without her children.  [/b]The constant self promotion is annoyin, but ahe is a master at marketing herself.[/quote]

This bothers me a bit.  There are only so many hours in a day.  Losing a parent as a child changes the course of your life.  Btdt.  I just don't see how she can be there for her kids as they deal with their grief, while still "leaning in", working, writing books, and dating.   That's the part that makes me question her perspective. [/quote]

Well I think she is doing some good for the world. I'm grateful there are women out there who will sacrifice time with their children for the greater good. I'm not one of those women, so I'm glad they are out there. If every mom cut back dramatically, it would be even more of a man's world than it already is. I think Mark Z is seriously considering running for office and I think she is helping to lay the groundwork. She has done a lot of good for women internationally and women in tech. She did take some time after the death of her husband, but I mean, he died what 2-3 years ago now? Her children are likely thriving in their routine, and i'm sure have loving caregivers who help when she is away.

Again, this lifestyle is not for me, but I don't want every women who has or wants kids to think they can't be a leader. [/quote]

I see it differently -- I think her willingness to put her kid son the back burner (or so it would seem) makes it harder for women who work and still want to see and spend meaningful time with their kids.  She sets and unreasonable and unrealistic "standard" that seems a lot more like what many men are expected to do (and often are able to do either because they have a wife who handles the domestic front or because they have the money to hire a bevy of care takers).

I don't want to hire people to do everything with my kids, but I'd also like to be able to succeed in a fulfilling and satisfying job.  So far, I haven't figured out how to do it.[/quote]

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