Reply to I wanted to have sex with DH today

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, one thing isn't clear:  who is more upset about the lack of sex?  Him or you?

One thing that worked for DW and I was scheduling sex.  We pick one day a week, then we know it will happen that day.  We wouldn't pick a kids b-day because we know there will be extra.  Instead, we can pick a day where I will be home early,and she isn't loaded up.

It's not romantic but it works.  When we waited for spontenaity, it rarely happened.

FWIW, most big law partners have SAHM wives.  I can only imagine how chaotic your home is.  Can you hire some help?[/quote]
OP here, I guess I thought texting him about it was kind of scheduling it but you're right, I think it was a bad night for it, given the extras. I think it was my attempt at planned spontaneity and following through.

I do know a lot of folks at the firm whose wives stay at home, but I like to work and like the adult interaction and being challenged. I work half time to be able to juggle appointments, home maintenance responsibilities, other errands, so that they don't have to be done on the weekend when we have the kids. [/quote]

You don't even work full time and you're having sex only 2-4 times a month? Gosh. Neither of you must be high drive.[/quote]

I would like to have sex more and I'm positive he would too. See my PP about why *I* think that doesn't happen.

Maybe we do need to hire someone to help in the evenings. Do a lot of people do that?? It's not like I want to be the martyr like others have suggested, but somehow my mother managed to have to kids and work full time with my dad working a lot, without hired help. I didn't realize that was such a common thing.[/quote]

Yes it's quite common. Are you efficient or organized, or do things tend to take you a long time?[/quote]

To answer a PP as well, yes I am from the US, grew up in Fairfax Co, upper middle class. I didn't know any friends, that I recall, that had hired help in the evenings. I did know some friends who had SAHM though, but mine did not.

I know that hiring house cleaners is very common, and I learned quickly hat there is no way I can clean our house to that extent while working outside the home. But are all of these people getting help having nannies that come only in the evenings? Au pairs that live with them? That I really didn't understand was common.

I consider myself very organized and efficient. I get a crap ton of stuff done around the house. I keep lists and calendars. I manage to keep work and home separate and I do well at work. But yes, some things require a team if they're going to be done in parallel. I can't put the kids to bed while simultaneously making dinner for us. [/quote]

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