Reply to Why do people who have kids literally drop off the face of the earth?

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Reply to "Why do people who have kids literally drop off the face of the earth?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Ha! Too funny. I'm a near-tenured professor. I assure you I'm not fratting out. I'm talking about things like wine tastings, coffee, art museums, etc. Not stupid shit kids in their 20s do in DC like softball leagues or kickball.[/quote]

Hi near-tenured professor.  We (DH and I) want to do these grown-up things like coffee, wine tasting, art museums etc.  But we are sleep deprived and we have to do kid stuff.  The consequence of not doing these horribly mundane and exhausting stuff means that we fall behind to the extent that it is difficult to catch up.  Plus we have to work, do house stuff, take care of work projects, health problems of our elderly parents and sick kids and basically be parents.

Will you still be around when we become empty nesters? Because that will probably be the time that we emerge from our parental fog. 
[b]
On the other hand, if you promise not be judgmental and drop by for just a pizza and beer in a chaotic household, we would love to see you. [/b][/quote]

+1 to this. Two of my closest, longest-term friends don't have children. One really makes an effort to work around my schedule.  She'll come over to my neighborhood at 9 pm, after I put my kids to bed, and we'll go out for a drink or late dinner.  I see her every couple of weeks and don't feel like our relationship has changed too much since I had kids. The other friend doesn't do that, she still texts me invitations, often last minute, to the kind of fun lets-go-to-a-hip-after-work-event kind of thing I used to do all the time. I usually say no (and yes sometimes forget to respond). But sometimes I go, and more importantly I know she doesn't take offense either way. I think that's the only way to maintain a friendship with people in the thick of early-years parenting. Just accept that their life and your place in it has changed. If you want to work with and around that, then great.  If not, you need to find new friends. [/quote]

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