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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP here. I have been following this thread wondering whether to post.  I am a DW who was in a "maintenance sex" marriage for past several years. Definitely the on downward slope. I was the one not interested. (I am close to 50). 
But... THERE IS HOPE! Things have changed for us!  I want sex with my husband (a lot) and am totally available to him. I initiate. I'm not even sure what happened to me, but I feel my marriage & family have been saved and I want to give others hope. I thank God that he stayed. I don't if this helps anyone but I hope it does.
[/quote]

You say THERE IS HOPE yet go on to say "not sure what happened". Gee, thanks for the helpful insight!
How is that hopeful to guys like me on the "refused" side of the bed?
What [u]specific actions[/u] (other than the standard options of divorce or outsource) can I take in my sexless marriage?[/quote]

I know...it's not like I'm holding back a on a magic solution.  See my follow up post. Unfortunately I feel like my experience is of more help to the wives than to the husbands. 
I do think my husband was good about acknowledging that this was not where either of us wanted to be rather than blaming me.
But, to be clear we did get in the loop of him being grumpy because of no sex and then me not wanting to do it with the guy who's being an a**, and so on. It sucked.
Maybe a blog and then your can tell your wives to take a look. Just trying to help.[/quote]

Most women in sexless marriage do not see this as a problem, so they have no reason to read a blog. She is perfectly content with a sexless marriage, even happier if he would stop "pestering her".
It's not HER problem, it's HIS problem.

You may not like this, but my advice to the husbands is to TELL HER in CRYSTAL CLEAR language: 
I intend to resume a normal sexlife. I'd like that to be with you. And if there is anything that I can do to help you get back to an intimate place, just tell me.
Otherwise, from now on, I am repurposing our Friday date night: I will be going out with other women.

Boom! His problem is solved.
Perhaps now SHE has a problem, I wish her good luck with that.[/quote]

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