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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP here. I have been following this thread wondering whether to post.  I am a DW who was in a "maintenance sex" marriage for past several years. Definitely the on downward slope. I was the one not interested. (I am close to 50). 
But... THERE IS HOPE! Things have changed for us!  I want sex with my husband (a lot) and am totally available to him. I initiate. I'm not even sure what happened to me, but I feel my marriage & family have been saved and I want to give others hope. I thank God that he stayed. I don't if this helps anyone but I hope it does.
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So what turned it around for you? Right now, DW feels zero affection or attraction for me, and it is hard to see it coming back. My efforts to build a connection meet with coldness and indifference. [/quote]
That was me.. I feel your pain, I really do. I wish there was one thing I could tell you but for me I think a bunch of stuff just came together. Generally:
1)Ageing parents and raising kids take a lot of effort. DH becomes one more thing to "take care of." Our kids are getting older, so there is more of me to give, so to speak.
2) I feel like I grew up. Part of me felt sex was something good girls didn't do/enjoy/talk about. (Yes I may have some issues.)
3) Trying to stay non-explicit here - I acknowledged that intercourse only did it for me less that 50% of the time. I didn't realize this was common (see #2). "Other things" just work better for me. Luckily DH is happy to oblige.
4) I stopped drinking. Mostly to lose an extra 5lbs that were bugging me. I had been up to 2 glasses of wine every night. I felt like crap but kept doing it. I feel lighter, or just better.
5) Reading erotic fiction - never did this before (again see #2). Maybe not for everyone but puts me in the mood.
6) Make an effort to not focus on the things that I found unappealing i.e., I buy you nice clothes but you insist on wearing hiked up dad jeans and work shoes - just no. Working on this.

I could go on. Hope this helps. Maybe I'll start a blog...

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