Reply to Husband isn't good provider and I secretly hate him for it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

I think our problem is that we are starting with nothing - no equity.  Was a mistake to rent for 10 years.  But then again, we both graduated penniless so buying wasn't in the cards when the market was good.   We each scrimped and saved (prior to mtg and since) and are trying to get in now.

Yes, we saw a financial planner after DS1 was born to make sure we were putting enough into college (would like to pay for as much of it as we can) and retirement.

Goal: A nice 3 bedroom house in a school district of 8s and a 30 min commute to downtown.  My job is demanding (50 - 55 hours a week)  and I don't want to give up any more of my time - esp not to a commute.  I'd move 1000 miles away but he wants his job.  I want a house - a place to live our lives - that doesn't feel like a dungeon.

To the previous poster, I think your note about being mostly mad that he doesn't care is right.  How could he not want more for our family?  He grew up with all of the above but doesn't feel the same desire to provide it for our kids the way I do.[/quote]

Overall, it sounds you're in good financial shape. You're saving for college and retirement. I'm also assuming that you two have paid off most or all of your SL debts in past ten years. If you were in bad financial shape, I would be more sympathetic to your pov. It's not a matter of you wanting "more" and him wanting "less." It sounds like you two want different things.

Maybe your dh is okay with the current situation- fulfilling career and reasonable level of financial/material well-being. Living in a condo vs house is a personal preference. Maybe he doesn't think living in a house is important. Or doesn't care for hosting family/guests. Is he complaining about living in the condo? Does he think it's too small? If he is complaining and not doing anything about it, then that's a different situation.[/quote]

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