Reply to Husband isn't good provider and I secretly hate him for it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]This is so right. For all those condemning OP and other PP's who have empathized with her, including me, the resentment is about more than just money. In my marriage, it came down to feeling that he wasn't as committed as I was to our family's future security. It was not about cold, hard cash for better vacations and "stuff" -- but the desire to be able to build toward our future security, through 529's, retirement savings, and home equity. I had deep anxiety about what the future could bring, and whether or not we would be financially prepared. We both signed on to providing a certain lifestyle -- nothing elaborate, believe me -- and it hurt me deeply to feel that I was killing myself to make this happen, and he was sort of coasting along, accepting that I was taking care of it. In our case, he wasn't even happy in the shitty job with no benefits that he had, which was even more infuriating. It was worth fighting about.[/quote]

I'd be a lot more empathetic if OP would say if they've seen a financial planner (have you?) and what their HHI is.  We're finding incredulous that after 10 years and double income, they can't afford to buy a place.  Something isn't right.  What the hell are THEY spending their money on?  Why haven't they planned a route to home ownership?  OP is focusing on her DH's job but so many other people with fewer resources do it all the time.  What is holding these 2 'high achievers' back? It certainly can't just be because of her DH's job.  [/quote]

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