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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There is a work conference I attend every year, and it is usually in a resort location. A few years ago in New Orleans, I went out to lunch with a friend, who brought along a guy she worked with, and we hit it off. Had a lot in common, knew a lot of the same people. My friend had to catch a flight, and it turned out this guy and I were both on a later flight, so the two of us spent a few hours walking through the French Quarter. If this afternoon had happened when I was in my twenties and single, it would have been one of the best first dates I ever had. Alas, we are both married and middle aged. [b]My marriage is fine. It's not great, but it's fine.[/b] I don't really know how his is.

We have minimal contact outside of this conference - a few how ya doing emails during the year. But every annual conference since then, the two of us meet up again and spend our workdays together at the meetings, and have carved some time out from our work obligations so the two of us can go out for boozy, flirty dinner at a nice restaurant, after which each of us goes back to our separate hotel rooms.  My husband has no knowledge that this other guy exists. I don't feel like I'm being dishonest, it's just that I don't think I've crossed any lines, it would be more awkward to bring it up, and I kind of like having this little secret.

[b]I'm not cheating on my husband, am I? And if I am, why am I going back to my hotel room alone - if I'm already cheating, how much worse would it be to spend a discreet night together?[/b]  I think we've established our ability to keep this thing we have to one week a year and apart from our real lives.

Next conference is in Vegas next month. [/quote]

I come from the realist camp.

No, you aren't cheating.  Totally normal, so far.  Whether it's a conference, or a business dinner, or a few hours at the airport bar with an attractive stranger, many/most of us have those awesome moments with someone from the opposite sex.  A crush, a small break from the daily grind, a little taste of the butterflies again.  No biggie.  That is fun.  Keep on, enjoy it for what it's worth.

But if you sleep with him, it escalates things immensely.  To generalize, women who are in so-so marriages can get really caught up in affairs.  Maybe you are the unicorn, but most women really can't go back to their status quo after a night or a weekend of hot sex with some man they also have chemistry with outside the bedroom.  They look at their husbands differently.

Not to mention the potential of catching something.

I think you are naive for thinking there isn't much difference between what you are doing now with what sex would change.  Just go into it with your eyes wide open.  [/quote]

If this were a man posting, we would have pointed out that he is having an emotional affair with his "conference wife." Such a double standard on this board. [/quote]

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