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[quote=Anonymous]
OP, if you're still reading....I posted way back at the start in support of your telling your daughter that with two other kids to manage you aren't going to make this trip.

I saw one of your follow-up posts and you mention that one of your kids is a senior (or will be a senior in the fall?) and is doing the entire college application/visit thing. That alone is reason to tell your older child you aren't going to do this trip! Your kid who is looking at colleges needs you around -- and yes, while one week away is nothing much, it's surely going to be expensive to fly to India, much less pay for everything else involved with your trip. I would tell your DD that spending that kind of money isn't in the budget in a time when one of her siblings is close to going to college. That's college money, basically. Your own DD is a college student and she should understand that she has siblings who also will go to college. The fact she's not seeing that really shows how blinded she is by her own belief that her experience right now is the be-all and end-all of, well, everything.  Tell her briefly and directly that she's in college now, but her siblings have yet to go, and she needs to understand that an overseas trip is not in the cards. Even if all your kids are full-ride scholarship students, a family still has some expenses for college application and visits etc.

I think a lot of PPs are also projecting a vast amount of their own wishes and problems with their parents onto your situation. Based just on your posts, you do not sound "depressed" as some are saying, nor do you sound like you are hiding away in fear of life. You sound like someone who knows who she is and what she wants, and whose priorities are clear. You've traveled overseas more than once which is more than most Americans ever do! Don't let people on here make you feel you're some hermit.

Stay very positive when you communicate with your DD. Remember that over e-mail she cannot hear your tone, so if you can, phone or Skype her or whatever so she can hear that you really do love her and really do think what she's doing is great, but spending that money and time right now is not going to work. Encourage her strongly to send photos, ask her lots of questions about them and about what she's doing; show a real interest. In years to come she will realize that you were right. It might take her years and having her own kids to realize it -- but maybe she'll get there.[/quote]

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