Reply to Don't want to Visit my Daughter

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[quote=Anonymous]I haven't read through the whole thread yet, but this resonates with me because I have often felt like my mother's anxiety kept us from having a meaningful relationship. It sounds like you are a lot closer to your daughter than I am with my mom, though.

I think if I was your daughter, I would really appreciate you being a little bit vulnerable with me about this. Instead of just leading with the "no" and a very brief explanation, maybe say more about how truly difficult it is for you. I think sometimes parents are hesitant to reveal their weaknesses to their kids, understandably, but you're transitioning now into an adult-adult relationship now since your daughter is in college. I think this might really help.

Secondly, I would ask her why it is so important to her that you go. Is she scared? Does she want to feel like you are a witness to her life? Etc. The reason she is so preoccupied with your going will help you come up with a way to acknowledge her desire without your having to take the trip.

Good luck, OP! 
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