Reply to New situation to talk about with my teen son...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is highly unlikely that this is the whole story if there was an arrest and the young man was expelled from his college.

Is there a link to a news article about this story?
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That's because this story isn't real. OP wanted to do a PSA on teaching teens about consent etc, but that was boring so she decided to post  a cautionary tale of a friend  like an 80s afterschool special.[/quote]

Well, that is a possibility. If it is true, I would think a case like this would be in the news, especially since there was an arrest and it seems to present a controversial set of facts. 
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This story is in the news in that state.  I can't put all details because it would identify him and unfortunately due to social media, the victim.  Because when I searched for his arrest record, I was easily able to find the victims name mentioned along with his in some social media posts.  That part really upset me.  Young people need to learn boundaries on social media!  Posting things like, "did you hear that @FriendsSon and @Victim broke up cuz he got arrested for rape."  There's NO reason why their friends needed to comment anything about the incident on Twitter.  If my kid Tweeted or Retweeted something that identified the victim in a crime, I'd be irate regardless of their age.    [/quote]

I really do not want the details because I think that on this thread we are talking about hypothetical situations and what could happen.

As far as the folks talking about this on social media.  It sounds as though this was more of a scandal then an actual crime (I'm assuming charges were dropped) and folks do like to gossip...[/quote]

I'm confused. If the story is already in the news, how does providing a link to the story identify the defendant? He either is or isn't already identified in the news story.

I just think it is easier to respond to a story that has facts from a news source. No offense to the OP, who is repeating what he or she was told by the mother of the young man involved in the story, but I'd like to see how the story is being told by an objective news source. 
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I don't know that I feel comfortable knowing either one of their names.  It seems like there was a major over reaction on the parts of many in authority over what was essentially a personal dispute...a misunderstanding(?).

I guess if the young woman had stormed straight out to the police station to report this alleged misconduct that would be one thing.  Or if she was maliciously trying to get the guy kicked out of college that would be one thing.  But it sounds as though this girl was having some kind of emotional breakdown (maybe a mental health issue) and the university felt that it was best for the police to sort through the murky details?  It's a shame that this got so far...[/quote]

It's not a matter of wanting to know the names of the people involved, it is just wanting to hear the facts if the story from an outside source. I think a parent or friend is likely to tell the story in a way that is favorable to their loved one, just out of understandable human nature. I'd rather hear the story from an objective source.

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I would too.  But if there were no crime committed then I do not think it's appropriate for that young man's name to be mentioned in particular.  Would you want your son's name mentioned in this context if he did nothing wrong?  I sure as h*ll wouldn't.  And if I had a daughter who was suffering from a major mental health problem which led to an unfortunate personal dispute, I wouldn't want her name blared all over the news either.

Like I said, if this is for real it is a terrible shame that it got so far.  The university probably can't talk about it due to privacy concerns and the police won't talk about it because no one was charged with a crime.

In the meantime, my heart goes out to the parents of that young man because they probably are out $$$ over this hiring lawyers.  Something this stressful could literally kill a parent.  And the girl's parents might be completely oblivious to what is going on with their daughter which is awful.

And, of course, none of us know if this really happened, if the facts are accurate, etc.   We're just left to worry that something like this COULD happen to any of our kids - male or female.[/quote]

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