Reply to What do you think of leaving a 2-3 month old behind so you can travel?

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[quote=Anonymous]I didn't read every thread, but I had horrible PPD with my first and went to an amazing therapist. One of the things she said to me has stuck with me over the years as I grapple with "mom guilt".  In therapy I would discuss this guilt with her--and  after one session she asked me to go look up the definition of guilt and come back to our next session with teh answer. Ever the "teacher pet" type of student, I did my homework and came back with the definition which basically stated something you felt when you had done something maliciously and on purpose. She asked me if I was going back to work was malicisou or meant to hurt my child..OF COURSE not I sad, it was to provide a roof of her head and to provide food and support for our family. She asked the same question about a few other things and each time my answer was similar. The point of this post OP is that a lot of times as moms WE manifest this guilt. My mom was an executive director of a large company, she traveled a good amount, and yet I never felt unloved or uncared for or that I was not her first prioirity. Now in adult hood her and my dad were able to retire here and buy a condo, they have the most amazing relationship with my children and my mom is my best friend---yet she sometimes discusses with me guilt she felt and I remember back to those same occasions and never once felt "bad, neglected, less than others".  So my point is only you know you....YOU need to take care of yourself because you wont be a good mom if you are stressed, angry, resentful. We need breaks we need to still be a human not just "mom".  I think the best parents i know have a healthy balance and it shows with their kids.  So final thought is do what feels right for you. People are alwys going to judge, people are always going to amke comments, but you are the only one that knows your family life and what works best. Comparison is the thief of joy![/quote]

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