Reply to Fiancee with moderate income insists on private school for daughter

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, thanks for continuing discussion.

Between credit card debt and student loans, she owes 70k. Right now she pays minimal amount on CC, nothing on student loans. [/quote]

$70 k in debt is somewhat understandable given that it includes SL and she's a single mom. Many in the site cite SL/debt at $150k or higher.

She's raising a child and paying to live in an expensive area for goodness sake!

Once you're married why can't what she pays in rent go towards her debts? Why should her child have to sacrifice her education? Not all FX schools are good.

[/quote]

So you are suggesting that OP covers all living expenses and his fiancé uses what she pays in rent towards her debt and rest of her money towards her DD's private school tuition?

That doesn't sound very fair to OP. At the same time, it isn't uncommon for the male to support the entire family. Blended families complicate matters. I'm a SAHM of 3 kids but they are our biological kids. When we got married, DH paid for all living expenses and I put ALL of my income towards my student loans. We considered it our debt to pay off since everything was joint and family money.[/quote]
Reread your 2nd paragraph.

[b]Why was that scenario okay for you and fair for your DH but not OP.
[/b]
Once they marry their money and bills we become joint as well. If he's so concerned about her debt and retirement, he should cover the expenses and let her pay things down. Or just not marry her. Because joining lives is what marriage is all about.

As one pp said, we never know what tomorrow will bring. What if he gets ill or laid off for some reason and she has to take up the slack? Thats marriage! One day you may have to work for the same reason. And it will be possible because you worked as a team beforehand.

[/quote]

because OP is not sending HIS kids to private school, but his fiancee is sending hers.  And she's using money she doesn't have to do so.  That's the difference.[/quote]

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