Reply to Should we cancel our 4th of July party?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This doesn’t seem like something someone would do because you didn’t attend their party. It sounds like something else happened.

Are your kids good friends with her kids? People get weird when kid stuff happens.

[/quote]

Yes it does sound like it could be because of MD party. So, weeks before Memorial Day weekend, OP sent out 4th of July invites and got people, including QB, to rsvp yes. Then she proceeds to sleep QB’s party. So insecure QB is doing what she does to reclaim her territory.

If OP wanted to play by QB rules, she could have skipped QB’s party and gone to her 4th party OR gone to QB’s MD party and thrown her own 4th party. She shouldn’t have done both. [/quote]

You sound like a QB yourself! OP can only host a party if she also attends the QB's party??? Grown adults can have a social life outside of their neighborhood or immediate suburb![/quote]

+1. It’s super weird to be upset about someone missing your MD party, because tons of people travel on that weekend. [/quote]

We have attended many of her events and parties.  Halloween, New Years etc.

We’ve hosted birthday parties but never a holiday and felt like we should since we’re one of the few people with the large patio and pool.  Our living space is smaller so an outdoor summer party makes the most sense.

We gave her plenty of notice we could not attend a month in advance. It wasn’t personal we had planned to see old friends far earlier on the year.

I don’t want to be iced out but if it happens it happens. I’m a grown up.

I do worry about my kids.  My son and her son are on the same soccer team and friendly enough.  He has plenty of other friends in school as well.  As does my daughter, but she’s VERY close with another little girl in the group whose mom is very close to this woman so I would be very sad it this affected that friendship.[/quote]

Ok, OP -  I see several potential things that you have "done" to the QB to cause her to feel as though you are encroaching on her turf. Mind you, none of these are bad at all, but QB women are often deeply insecure and vindictive.

1.) You dared to host a non-birthday party event, and encroach on her territory of hosting on holidays. If you have a pool and she doesn't - something for her to be jealous of. Also, by hosting the 4th of July party, you took control of the guest list, not her. Trust me, before this issue with you, she had other targets, women like her always do.

2.) You mention your daughter is very close the daughter of her close friend. When kids are that young, play dates typically involve the parents hanging out as well. She's worried that you may get close with one of her close friends. She's going to try to stop that from happening.

I live very near a woman like this, and these women are not well. However, like other PPs have said - you lose a lot of respect for those who are in their vicinity and see their exclusionary behavior and do nothing to stop it, even when it's negatively impacting kids. I would host your 4th of July party, expect a lot of your mutual friends to come early and then head over to the QB's party. Try to expand your guest list if possible, although I understand this may be tough, given that you mentioned your social circle is primarily mutual friends. You can't win with a woman like this, your best hope is to try to expand your social circle. [/quote]

1) But it seems like many people in our group host holiday parties, not just her.

For example other families hosted Friendsgiving & a Holiday party.  Someone even hosted a massive Easter Egg hunt.

So it’s not always just her hosting parties.

My biggest fear is this affects my kids friendships.  My husbands biggest fear is he buys too many burgers and hotdogs lol.

We have expanded the guest list a bit to friends farther away and more coworkers just in case we have low attendance.[/quote]

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