Reply to Mom’s Who Left Career to SAHP

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "Mom’s Who Left Career to SAHP"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s a leap of faith to quit and SAHP.

I recently did it but it took me 3 years to pull the trigger, and I was thinking about it 2 years before then.

I have three kids and honestly, if you make a decent salary, you can pay for good quality childcare when they are young. I didn’t mind leaving them when they were babies/young toddlers, as I felt like they were well cared for while I worked, and doing really well. As they entered elementary school, it actually got harder to find good quality childcare - we tried a nanny/housekeeper position, tried aftercare, and I felt like I wanted to be more involved in their lives than I was by not getting home until 5 or 6 pm.

When my youngest hit elementary school and nothing got any easier, I started thinking seriously about quitting. balancing work and home life was a constant challenge - I had advanced in my career, which meant more flexibility but also more responsibility. So I could take a sick day, but the hours needed to be made up to get the work done. I could make it all work but it felt like I was constantly either shortchanging my kids or shortchanging my job. It was a bad feeling, but I really liked my job and had never imagined myself being a sAHp. It also felt like I was a “quitter” since I had gotten through the early childhood years, but it just felt like I was too busy to really enjoy either working or parenting.

And of course you can’t talk about SAHP without talking about money.  I made about $120k when my first was born and about $210k when I quit 11 years later. My DH made slightly more than me when we had DC1 and made 10X more than me, so by the time I was thinking about stopping work, my financial contribution was no longer critical to the finances of our family. And while I really struggled internally with depending on my DH financially, I decide to reframe and be grateful that he makes enough that I am able to choose — he would be making the same wether I kept working or not.

It’s only been a few months now that I’m home, and I am really enjoying it. It took a bit to get into a routine, and set goals and a schedule for myself, but I’m pretty happy making the adjustment. My DH continues to be supportive, I’ve finally gotten to be a parent volunteer at my kids school, and I am getting regular exercise. I do see myself working again at some point, but not for many more years and it will be a new career - I’m calling myself retired from my last one. [/quote]

I was in a similar situation. I earned 200-300k out of grad school in my twenties and got married and had kids. I actually earned more than my Dh when we got married. He earned around 800k when I stopped working. I was not planning to not return to work, just take a small break. I ended up having another child and am still a SAHM. I have been a SAHM for almost a decade. DH now earns much more than when I first stopped working. He was able to fully focus on his career.

We do not need my income. My kids are now in elementary school, middle school and high school. The three of them keep me plenty busy. I actually think my teens need me more than when they were in early elementary when I became a SAHM.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics