Reply to Any success in not being in charge of everything?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You have a baby on the way and this is the dynamic???

Get into couples therapy NOW. I'm not joking. This board is littered with wives who do everything and then complain about their husbands who just sit there waiting to be told what to do. I think there's a thread now ("Tired of being the grown-up" or something like that) where it's clear that the wife/mother of a 3 yr old is done and considering divorce.

This will not go away because you made some "tweak" you read about on a forum. This will take a significant effort on BOTH your parts. Like everything else in your marriage, it can't be directed by you. That's why you need a professional to assist with this change. [/quote]

Op here - I agree this is dramatic.  Most of my friends are also in this situation with kids and while it's eye rolling and annoying, it's not marriage ending (in their and my cases).  I'm sure I contribute to it too - so what I'm asking is how people break this dynamic that is so common.  What can I do differently that forces him to start thinking about this things and not just show up.[/quote]

Of course it's dramatic. But you said a baby is on the way. Why would want anything less than the best for your family? If you think there's a lot of planning to do for a vacation, and all he can do is to remember to pack some shirts and underwear, then you're all in for a dramatic surprise. Try doing the planning that you already do and multiplying that by 100. Now do it with no sleep and a crying baby as you're trying to get the ped appointment.

But hey, I'm sure if you make him practice by being in charge of picking the restaurant and movie tonight, it will all be fine.[/quote]

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