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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sounds like you just need to do some basic cognitive therapy on yourself. Whenever you start thinking of him, use a catch-phrase (like "stop it" or "don't go there") to tell yourself to stop. Just keep doing it every. single. time. And soon, you will get out of the habit of dwelling on him. [/quote]

+1 but it is important to ADD another behavior/thought...you have to redirect your mind.  For instance, if you were to stop drinking alcohol at 5pm, you would not just stop drinking, you would subsitute grape juice or coffee at 5pm--basically do all the other ritualistic things besides the actual alcohol.  And if you were giving up going to the bar, you might re-route your route so you don't drive by the bar everyday.

So for example, years ago, I had a crush on a boy in high school and his family owned a store, and he would work at the store at times.  When I was in college, I'd have to drive by the store and get stuck at the light, and inevitably, I'd be looking to see if he was working.  I could NOT get over this guy.  I started driving on another road so as to stop getting stuck at that corner.

And btw, I had a law school ex-boyfriend that I could not get over.  I can remember standing in a parking lot one day thinking, "Wow, 3 years ago, I was standing in this very parking lot, and I'd never even met Larlo, there was not one brain cell devoted to Larlo, and now I can't get over him." Anyways...it took me a long time (years) to get over him, but I did, OP, and you will too.  I've now been crazy in love with my DH since 1996. I will tell you something, though.  About every year or 6 months, Larlo pops up in a dream and I wake up thinking I'm in 1993 and he's been a jerk, and I feel terrible, then I realize it's 201x and I'm out of that relationship and so much better off.

I read a very interesting article about how all habits have a trigger (darn, it's called something but I forgot what, (a cue, maybe) so I'm calling it a trigger).  The trigger, then the behavior.  It's hard to stop the behavior without addressing the trigger.  The trigger, though, is hard to stop.  So you have to re-direct your trigger to some other behavior...takes a few weeks but it works.[/quote]

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