Reply to Accepting responsibility...ADHD or just ``bratty''

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Reply to "Accepting responsibility...ADHD or just ``bratty''"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You need to stop thinking he can be different/(your definition of normal).

He is living with a different brain than you and you don't understand it. There is nothing you can do that can make him think like you do. Pointing out all his mistakes and making him admit it was his mistake is like pointing out to a person in a wheelchair that they can't walk up stairs and asking them to admit that it is their fault that they can't walk up stairs. It's mean and demoralizing.

If he loses his phone he lives with the consequences of not having his phone. Ignore his questions or insinuations that somebody moved it.

Turn on track my phone... that is a tool to find the phone. He will never remember where he put it.... NEVER, his brain does not store information like that.  There should be 1 place in his room that the phone goes, 1 place on the 1st floor. If he has a system in place to replace the short term memory everybody else has he will learn, my phone is always by the couch or on the night stand. If it's not he gets frustrated and he learns. (YOU CAN'T TEACH HIM THAT.)

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/may-i-have-your-attention/201311/adhd-adults-what-it-feels-have-adhd
[/quote]

Agree with all this. He needs you to help him set up systems where he can be successful. A certain place for the phone - at home, in his backpack, when he goes out. You can't just say "manage your time" to a kid with ADHD. You need to set up visual cues for him to learn this - a day planner with each hour broken out and accounted for, planning out homework every afternoon and designating the time to do it on the planner, a time timer to see how much or little time is left in a designated chunk of time. It's a huge project for you but it is the best path to independence for him. There are some great podcasts and articles from CHADD and ADDitude magazine to help.[/quote]

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