Reply to Accepting responsibility...ADHD or just ``bratty''

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Reply to "Accepting responsibility...ADHD or just ``bratty''"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PP, I'm with you, but does taking away the xbox remote or any other unrelated and random consequence for disrespect really change behavior or teach or a lesson, or does it just cause them to dig in their heels even more? Because I have yet to see my child, when faced with a consequence like this, turn to self-reflection and understand and accept his mistakes.[/quote]

5:55 here: I see, you're expecting some revelation and maturity. That's not what I was promising.  :D  The key here is that you consistently send the message that this denial of responsibility is not okay. I do not expect the middle school brain to "reflect and understand." That may not come for a few years. And that's okay. I can't control what my kid is thinking or feeling. But what I can control is my message about what is appropriate in our family and in our house. If you are concerned about digging in heels, it's perfectly fine to follow up when things have quieted down and have a serious conversation. You still maintain the consequence and you talk about steps that he can take in the future to get the work done on his own or remember where his phone is. Keep it calm and short.

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