Reply to Let's talk 9th grade social life

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[quote=Anonymous]DD is in 9th grade.  She is  very shy and has mild (unmedicated) ADHD - inattentiveness. plus executive functioning deficits  She's also a bit quirky.

She goes to a small, rigorous school outside the neighborhood.  Her 9th grade class is about 50 students and has been together since 6th grade. 
 
She talks about girls at school, so I know she has friends.  She is constantly doing something on her phone.... instragram, chat....
But she no longer "hangs out."  SHe used to go to the movies or ask to hang out at the mall/Starbucks with a friend but stopped at the beginning of 9th grade.  She comes home from school on Fridays saying she wants to hang out with friends over the weekend, but never commits to anything.  I ask who she wants to hang out with and she doesn't give anyone specific..

A formal winter dance is coming up in early December.  SHe wanted to go dress shopping "with her friends" this weekend.  I told her I could drive her/them - just organize which day and time.  She never did.  She talks often about getting together with friends, but never actually does. I wonder if she is hiding/covering up that no one asks her to do anything....

I don't think she is an introvert as she never spends any time in her room.  She's always near other family members and asks to do stuff with me - cook, go for a walk, watch a movie on tv, etc...

I remember hanging out (home/mall) ALL. THE. TIME starting in high school.  I'm wondering if her ADHD, shyness, executive function is hindering....  Should I step IN to help her plan, or step OUT for her to figure it out?
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