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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I probably have a different perspective on this than most people. I had a very traumatic childhood with my mother, marked by sexual abuse from the man she met after leaving my father. She eventually left that man, But remarried when I was 11/12, quickly gave birth to my two half brothers. Her relationship with my stepfather was volatile, and there was frequent violence in the house. She became an alcoholic, and I ended up having to care for those boys- imagine being 13 and getting up for infant night feedings, etc.

In any case, I left home at 17 for my own sanity, and never looked back. It was really tough not having anyone to help me with anything.

As for my mother, She met another guy and moved in with him. His family took my brothers in as their own, and they lived a really good life by all accounts.

Now that We are all adults, I've developed a relationship with my brothers. They are very close with my mother; I haven't said ten words to her in 20 years.

Here's the key: you have to own your own life. You moved on from whatever was there to move on from. Don't begrudge your brother the life he had because it's not your life. There is not a single thing you can do to change the past. If you want to continue to have a relatiionship with your mother, you have to come to terms with the fact that there is no resolution until you find resolution in yourself that life is rarely equal or fair. Be proud of being independent and putting yourself through school. Be proud of not continuing whatever cycle marked your early teen years.

Counseling or therapy can help, if you're having trouble understanding that it's not about you or your worth. Please know that.. it's not that your brother is better in any way than you are. There are inequities, but it has nothing to do with your value as a person. [/quote]

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