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[quote=Anonymous] I posted about tipping altar servers.

I am from NY and my family over-tips.
They tip the UPS guy. 
They tip the trash collectors.
They bring pastery everywhere.

A dry reception sounds like a very sane idea.
Also, budget-friendly.

If the church has a parish hall, you could ask if it is possible to just have it there and bring in coffee, tea, and pasteries or sandwich trays.

You can also say no to that and just plan the mass. Left the others figure out if they want to get together afterwards.

Your "obligation" is to have them be remembered, not to plan a wedding reception.

My dad's funeral cost more than my wedding.
Those things were important to him and he pre-paid. 
His wishes were clear and his friends stepped up.

Since you mention the drinking, you may find you are resentful if you have to spend a lot of $ on this. 
Focus on the church, but the bonus of people who are lifelong catholics is that this stuff is very much "templated".

That tends to bring comfort to those who are left behind. 
If not, you know that it takes an hour and you are done.

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