Reply to saying no to sharing, am I modeling it correctly?

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[quote=Anonymous]Since their children were very small, our neighbors have allowed their children to say that a toy is their "special toy" and refuse to share the toy with other kids.  This includes when their children bring the special toy to the playground or to someone else's house or when they invite another child over to their house to play.

This approach has always bugged me, because it isn't teaching anyone anything helpful, but I dealt with it and explained it to my own kids when it was limited to one particular toy.  Now that their kids are older, all toys have become "special" and those kids simply do not know how to share.  They get upset if someone else won't share with them, but cannot fathom why claiming a toy is special isn't enough to end a discussion of their own sharing.

I always thought that they should tell the child that they could either play with the special toy by themselves (in other room or another place) or put it away, or that they had to share the toy if they were going to play with it in front of kids.  The kid doesn't have to share...they can choose to be alone or put the toy away instead.

For my own kids, if we are playing around other kids, we share what we're playing with.  This doesn't have to mean giving it up.  They can include others in their game, or take turns.  If they don't want to share, the toy gets put away until it can be either shared or played with solo. [/quote]

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