Reply to saying no to sharing, am I modeling it correctly?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DS is 8 and has special needs. At school he has lots of opportunities to play with peers and share items. If anything, he lacks assertiveness and gives up toys and turns either because the other kid is more aggressive (grabbing) or because he is worried the other kid will feel badly if he doesn't.

DS is learning to do a lot of new things, like ride a bike, kick a ball, catch a frisbee, etc. He also has a metal detector he is learning to use. When we go to the park to practice any with any of those things often other kids will want to join in or ask for a turn. Usually neither of us want to say yes, mostly because he is focused on practicing by himself, or because we just want to spend the time alone together. DS is very shy and has language delays so usually I model a friendly but clear no, like "Sorry, the X is not a toy that he shares." or "No, today we are practicing throwing and catching with just the two of us." Occasionally DS will speak up for himself, but we are still working on that.

The kids usually respond OK, though a few times they have continued to ask, and a couple kids have complained to their parents I think. One kid walk away and cried "They said NOOOOOOOOOO!" I felt bad, but it didn't change my mind.

Any advice? How do you, or your kids, refuse these requests? Is it really unusual that we are saying no? The crying kid made me wonder...[/quote]

Why can't he learn to play catch/frisbee/etc with kids at the park?  Or why go to the park when you want to be alone (obvious answer here is you don't have the room)?

You just have different viewpoints than others - I explicitly tell my children not to take items they don't want to share to a place where other kids are playing.  You brought it, you share it.  Especially if you are going to turn around 5 minutes later and ask to join in someone else's fun.[/quote]

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