Reply to Feeling like I've failed my DD, re making friends

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Reply to "Feeling like I've failed my DD, re making friends"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It may be that your working full-time did lead to this situation but you don't really know that for sure.  Also, kids face these challenges at different times in their lives.  While you feel bad for her, you haven't "failed" her.  This won't be the last time she has to figure out how to deal with not having anyone to hang out with.  She's also almost in middle school and relationships with peer groups change a lot then.

I understand feeling bad for her but be careful about making this your "failure."  Kids need boundaries with their parents.  It sucks for her but don't make it about you.

Anyway, this is probably easy for me to say.  My kid is now in her 20s and has a long-term perspective on the social struggles she had when she was younger.  It's harder to watch when your kid is in the middle of it.  Good luck, OP![/quote]

[b]Working full time is the problem here. Most elem friendship are driven by the moms.[/b] [/quote]

I completely disagree.  The OP could be a SAH mom with a kid still be struggling to break into an established group of friends.

Also, some women are particularly cliquey for no apparent reason.  If they live close to the OP and the kids are in the same grade, it would be easy to initiate an invitation.  They don't b/c their kids aren't in need of friends.  This could be characteristic of women who work or SAH.

Plus, many kids are starting to develop strong interests--in sports, drama, whatever.  They often end up making friends from their extracurriculars rather than just the kids of their mom's friends.

OP, I would slowly steadily try to chip away at making friends.  Try to arrange one-on-one play dates (just don't call it that) with your DD and girls who live close by.  If you extend an offer 3 times and get rebuffed over several weeks, then move on.  Encourage your DD to pursue things that she likes to do that are small group activities.  It takes a while to develop these skills for some people.  You've not failed.  You're problem solving.  :)
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