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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]These are the 4 words you need: [b]"That. must. be. hard."
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Say them sympathetically when your daughter sighs or moans about friend stuff or girl drama. Just listen and say those 4 words. That's it. Do NOT offer to fix anything. Do NOT offer any advice. Do NOT analyze. Do NOT make lists with her of pros or cons. Do NOT judge her friends out loud (even the ones who are causing the drama).

Do this for the next couple YEARS and you will see that she starts to open up. She will confide in you. Then one day: she will ask your opinion. That's where you offer only a very light opinion, followed by "I know this is hard."

My three girls are young adults in college. My DH did this simple approach for their whole tween and teen years. He was increasingly invited into the inner world of our daughters' lives, thoughts, feelings. They text him and call him several times a week in college. His relationship with them is remarkable.

This approach didn't happen without some coaching from me in the beginning. :) He will occasionally lapse into trying to fix stuff for them, but he always stops himself and let's that go. He sticks with the mantra above, and it's remarkable what the girls will talk to him about.

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How did you come up with this approach? Did you read it in a book?[/quote]

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