Reply to can you un-"break" a relationship?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've never been in this situation so take my questions with a grain of salt but ...
A year long affair is obviously not a stupid mistake but is more malicious and selfish ... so was he a good guy when you found out?  Did he own up like a man or keep trying to avoid?  Can you find any trust in that??[/quote]

He admitted it when I asked him.  I am not sure I believe him on the scope of the affair, but he did immediately admit what was going on, and he ended it (well, he said he did and I have no evidence otherwise).  He basically blamed me for it for about six months, saying that he was unhappy and that I did not make enough time for him.  At the time, I had a one-year old, so the affair started right after I had my last child.  I think he was having some sort of midlife crisis, and it was easier to just blame me and not take responsibility.  Not that I am perfect, I am not, but there was nothing awful in our relationship - we had an active sex life during his affair (which is gross to me), but I was tired and overwhelmed with the two small kids.  About six months after he admitted the affair, he all of the sudden seemed to realize he had been a monumental jerk to me and now feels extremely bad about treating me the way he did both during and after the affair.

The killer is that he was so sweet to the OW, and during that six-month time frame he said he felt guilty for hurting her, but he didn't seem to feel very bad about hurting me until he snapped out of it.[/quote]

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