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[quote=Anonymous]My soon-to-be DH and I have had several arguments about the fact that I feel like I am a low priority to him. When we started dating, I thought it was great that he was so close to his family and had a large group of friends. However, he (3-5) nights/week on average goes and hangs out with "someone", albeit his parents, friends, sister, etc. before coming home to me. It might be 6:30-8pm before I see him. It frustrates me. I've told him this several times how much it bothers me that he can go and spend time with anyone but when it comes to making date night or plans with me or making me feel special it rarely happens. We hang out at home a lot. If and when we go out I usually plan it myself, he will ask me where I want to eat, what I want to do, etc. And it's exhausting. I just want to feel special and prioritized.

Take tonight for example. An old friend of his is in town, he went out with him last night. He told me as I was on my way home from work that he would be hanging out with him and his parents. It frustrated me that he told me last minute, but whatever. We got in a fight afterwards, which I feel like I overreacted because in hindsight it wasn't that big of a deal. But we were planning on hanging out with his friend today (Saturday) and he's also going to a game with him on Monday. We compromised that tonight he would take me out for dinner for date night.

So today we see his friend and his wife, all day. When we came home I was feeling sick from what I ate and his friend had suggested in the car that he wanted to go out again with DH. DH again - left it up to me which made me feel awkward. DH knew I was feeling sick all the way home (I'm recently diagnosed with a chronic autoimmune disease can feel sick really easily). DH again asks me when we're home what I want to do, I said I was feeling sick and wanted to rest. He obviously forgot we were supposed to do anything because he says he wants to go out with his friend. I get upset, go to the bedroom by myself and he comes in and starts asking me "what's wrong?".

I am just tired of feeling like a low-priority. He can make plans and has all the time in the world for his family/friends and when it comes to me we rarely spend any *quality* time together, other than making dinner and watching movies. I am doubting if this is someone I want to marry. We have seriously conflicting values about family and friends. If he was feeling sick, I would stay home and take care of him versus going out with a friend.

I just don't know what to do/say. We've talked about this several times but it never seems to sink in. He acts genuinely surprised when I get upset, now I start to get resentful anytime he goes out which I know is overdramatic. [/quote]

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