Reply to DH bender on a work trip. How big of a deal do I make this?

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[quote=Anonymous]DH is on a work trip in a party city.  I spoke with him around midnight last night, and he sounded pretty drunk so I told him he sounded like he needed to go to bed, which he said he was going to do.  Tried him at 8 this morning and his phone went straight to voicemail.  After about an hour, I tried his hotel room with no answer and again about an hour later.  Finally heard from him around 10:15 am.  He sounded hungover for sure and like he had just woken up.  He said the room phone didn't ring and that he didn't see the light flashing with a message or anything, which I am actually inclined to believe just from his response.  He sounded genuinely surprised.  He didn't have any work obligations this morning, so luckily he didn't sleep through anything, but he is going to have a rough day ahead as he has to present later this afternoon.

I am livid.  We have a 6 month old, and the fact that I couldn't reach him for several hours is unacceptable to me.  We have obviously been getting out less since the baby was born, so I kind of get blowing it out a little, but DH has a track record of getting too drunk several times per year.  I am not sure if he is an alcoholic by DSM-V definition, we drink occasionally/moderately at home and he has no issue just having a few drinks. But when he is having fun in a social setting, he sometimes (probably once every 2-3 months) he loses the "off" switch and gets really drunk- sloppy, stumbling, slurring, very obviously drunk, sometimes throws up.  This was annoying but tolerable before the baby.  After baby, not so much.  Since DS has been born, there has been one other time at a friend's 40th birthday where DH got super drunk and after we got home, set off the house alarm and woke the baby trying to go back out to go hang out with our neighbors who were drinking on the front porch when we came home.

DH is a good guy.  He's a bit of an introvert, but once the party gets started he just doesn't want it to end.  Despite shadiness above, I don't actually suspect cheating for a number of reasons.  I don't want to be a bitchy, fun police wife, but we're not college kids anymore.  He's 44, and we have a 6 month old.  If this happened once a year or so when seeing old college buddies, whatever.  But it's often enough that whenever he goes out, there's an anxiety in the back of my head about how much he will drink.  And I never want our son to see him in this condition.

So, what's a reasonable line to draw here? [/quote]

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