Reply to When did you know it was time to think about ending a marriage

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "When did you know it was time to think about ending a marriage "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Married for 10 years. I was never enamored but we were best friends. We went through hard times, had kids and have hit our late 30s. The issue is that I love him but not romantically anymore. [b]He's painful to be around[/b]. He used to be very laid back, fun and loving. Now It's his way or no way. He criticizes everything about me, everything I do...down to watching tv - I apparently "watch tv wrong", he has to redo everything I do (he literally rewashes the dishes), my ideas are dumb. He treats me like I don't have a full time job too (we make the same amount). I do most of the childcare as well. I tell him he needs to stop criticizing me - he says I don't listen to him. In all fairness, I tune him out because I can only stand so much nit picking.

[b]I'm going to therapy[/b] because it's the one place where I can admit I am miserable. He won't go to marriage counseling.

If you were in the same boat, what did you do?  I'm petrified of starting over and dealing with lawyers and custody battles.. but I can't live like this for the next 50 years..[/quote]

I was in the same boat, now in the process of divorce, separated for almost a year. Very similar situation. I did all of the bolded above: realized I was in pain with him, and went to therapy. It helped for a while. Then I realized that he and I didn't demonstrate anything healthy for our children, whom are young. When I saw the look on my youngest's face when he screamed expletives at me, and I woke up with my teeth chattering from anxiety, and got my blood pressure checked and it was near stroke level, I realized it was time to end the marriage. Everyone has a different capacity. I chose life over marriage, because the pain was slowly causing me to internalize all the responsibility and blame for our success - and it was unfair, unhealthy, etc. A month after I moved out things were better immediately for me health wise and you could see the positive change in our children's disposition. These are very tough choices to make. It isn't always about happiness, that is a choice despite circumstances, but it is about healthiness. A good therapist will help you move through this time and come to an objective conclusion. Before you make a decision - give 100% in every way you can so you do not regret it, ever. Best advice I got and it affirmed during tough times that I had made the right decision. Best of luck to you OP. Complacency, pain and carelessness is never what I imagine when I took lifelong vows.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics