Reply to Preschoolers and "mean girl" behavior

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[quote=Anonymous]I am a center director and some kids are just built this way. In a VERY general sense, boys tend to be more physical at these young ages and girls more verbal in their aggression, but it can go either way depending on the kid.

Please do not blame the school, the kids, the parents (ugh) or even the siblings. Rarely do any of those really impact this type of behavior. Some kids are just born more aggressive and feel a need to try out their power over other kids.

Also, some kids use words that adults interpret as mean when really they just mean that they don't want to play with that kid right now or they are not drawn to them. Some kids are annoying to other kids or aren't a good match socially.

This is why we have preschool teachers - they cannot solve all problems and make the world perfect for everyone but they are trained in MANY MANY strategies to work with all different combinations of kids and personalities to keep the classroom an emotionally safe (but still socially challenging) environment. Preschool is for your kid to increase pro-social behavior by playing with nice kids and also by dealing with not-so-nice kids. Trust me - they do better having practice at that.

Good luck - you're doing a great job in asking. BTW in one of our classes, the teacher outlawed the word "best friend" one year because it caused way more pain than pleasure. Genius.[/quote]

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