Reply to Am I forever at fault no matter what I've done since then?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Am I forever at fault no matter what I've done since then?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]OP, it can take this long, but it's also possible she's gotten stuck along the way. It's a good idea to check in regularly to see how things are going.

Maybe the two of you could meet with a counselor again and see if there's a way to break the ice.

It could be that, with time, it crystallized in her that she can't get over your betrayal, no matter how she tries, but she doesn't want to divorce and break up the family.

It could also be that she's testing you, to see if you can stick it out and be there no matter what. As someone who was cheated on and lied to, I've gone through some time of feeling I had to test him.

It could be that she's punishing you. A certain vengeful type will do that.

It could be that she's afraid to be vulnerable with you again, because of how much you hurt her. I deal with this issue. I was devastated at all the lies, and how good he was and is at lying. Everything he did and said, forever after, I couldn't trust. It's hard to feel intimate with someone you're always on guard with. You build a protective wall.

From your point of view, it sounds as if you have been doing the right things. Have you asked her if SHE feels you're doing the right things? Have you told her you miss her? Have you asked her if she's ready to be closer? Show your own vulnerability and sadness, if you feel it.

You ask if there is a point at which you can leave and not feel guilty. How could you not feel guilty? If you leave, you always have the guilt of knowing this chain of events happened because you broke your marriage and her trust, and probably her heart.

I think it's natural to want to move forward, but whether she can do so with you is beyond anyone's control. Talk to therapists, don't seek approval of anonymous strangers.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics