Reply to How much to fight for maintaining blended family/marriage

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Gonna take care  of yourself  and have companionship with an alcoholic? Over your kid's welfare? Really?

Your first duty is to your minor children. This is not the only person in the world you can find companionship with. Choose someone healthy next time. [/quote]

I don't know that I agree with this.

It sounds like OP's spouse is seeking treatment. I think that is a good time to address the other issues, including the strained relationship with one of her kids.

OP, I am sure that your spouse's road to treatment has been rough on you. I can understand why you want to throw in the towel. However, recognize that that will be disruptive to your kids as well, and consider how to manage that, if you decide to leave. Are you in counseling together? It sounds like that would be helpful for your marriage, and counseling for you might also be helpful.

I guess I should not have been surprised that you are being told that you're selfish and prioritizing yourself in this situation. After all, you divorced and remarried, which means you make bad choices according to many here. They are very careful to point out what divorce does to children in other situations, though. Take it with a grain of salt. You know what your spouse is capable of.[/quote]

OP is not divorcing the parent of his/her kids. This divorce will be nothing but good for the kids. [/quote]

Divorce is going to be disruptive regardless of who the parent is. The OP won't have to deal with an extended coparenting situation with this spouse, true, but they have been married for 5 years, and I have a hard time believing that the kids have no relationship with spouse. Divorce also has financial impacts on parents, which in turn affects children.

It certainly won't be as difficult for OP or her kids as divorcing their father probably was, but as a person who has been remarried to someone for 5 years, with a young child, I will tell you that if he and I split up, it would be incredibly disruptive for her. OP mentions that one of her kids has a strained relationship with her spouse, but doesn't say anything about the other kids. I would assume that those kids probably have good relationships with the other parent. My daughter was pretty upset when her dad broke up with his girlfriend of close to a year. They didn't live together and weren't married, but the relationship existed anyway, and it was disruptive.

That was my point.[/quote]

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