Reply to SIL getting remarried but no humility re 2nd wedding

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[quote=Anonymous]So my SIL is getting remarried.  We're very happy for her and all. However, we all expected that her 2nd wedding would be a more understated affair than the first, which was a blowout.  I was a bridesmaid in the first and still have the silly dress.  We spent a lot of time & money for the first wedding.  Now the 2nd wedding is turning out to be a repeat of the first, essentially.  It will be a full Catholic mass and a full dinner/dancing reception.  Huge bridal party.  AND, she has asked me to be a bridesmaid again!  We're already going to be spending time and money to travel across the country for this 2nd wedding.  Now this.  Is there [b]any[/b] way I can say no to being a bridesmaid or otherwise register my dismay with the way this wedding planning is going?

Again, we're happy for her and wish her the best.  But I thought 2nd weddings were supposed to be more low-key - - at least the ceremony?  If they want to throw a big party that's fine, but to make us all press repeat on the big wedding - - dress, shoes, hair, pictures, etc etc etc - - seems obnoxious.  The only thing she hasn't done is register . . . yet.

Do I just need to grit my teeth and get over it?  Or is there some tactful way I could decline being a bridesmaid and suggest she tone it down? [/quote]

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