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[quote=Anonymous]I admit, I've been a pushover when it comes to my inlaws. We're south asians, and I've grown up learning I need to appease grown ups. Its been a struggle to find my own voice when it comes to my inlaws. My MIL was just so so excited to have a girl in the family, that she insisted I wear certain things, flood myself in jewelry, etc. I hated all of it.

Since then we've had a child, my husband lost his job, and I was the sole breadwinner with a newborn and was finishing up my PhD. That year made me feel like a badass. I went through tons of adversity, and was able to overcome them, mainly by myself (my DH was in a bad place, and was clinically depressed). I was able to stand up to my in laws and say no to things (mainly because we were poor, and I was exhausted by our life). After two years of living that, my DH found a job back in the midwest and we've decided to move out of DC. We'll be 1.5 hours away from my MIL. And I'm so so scared that we'll back to our relationship we once had when I first got married. Our weekends will be tied up with family stuff (DH has a HUGE extended family, ALL in the midwest), she'll be over all the time, I know that she'll insist she takes care of DS rather than him go to daycare.

I need help. Tell me what boundaries are appropriate. How often should we visit them, how often can they come by. They both retired too early, and are really bored, so they're just so excited about this move.

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