Reply to Coping with family member you can't stand long term

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Coping with family member you can't stand long term"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]For those who have a close family member that you can’t stand, how do you deal with having to have them in your life long-term? Meaning, you can’t simply cut them out because they are a part of the family and others want them around?

I seriously hate my BIL. I could write a novel as to why, but he is manipulative, condescending, rude, selfish, annoying and much more. I literally cringe every time I see him.  Problem is, he is DH’s brother and while DH agrees with me to a certain extent, it’s his brother and he wants him in his life. Plus he feels bad for him (40, single, not many friends, kind of a loser, etc).

BIL recently moved 6 blocks away from us (I swear on purpose, DH disagrees) and he wants to hang out/get together all the time. DH has been good about trying to set boundaries for my sake but BIL tends to just stop by on weekends now which makes me crazy. DH has repeatedly asked him to call first but he doesn’t, and DH refuses to turn him away unless we happen to be going somewhere. He literally calls DH every single day asking if he can come over after work to hang out, when we can make plans, etc. And when DH says we are busy, it’s not a good night, etc. BIL gives him a guilt trip and makes him feel bad. We probably see him once a week (or twice if he “pops” over) which is too much for me.

We have 2 young kids and a busy life and this is the last thing I need to deal with 24/7. This is the #1 issue DH and I argue about and I seriously don’t want it to lead to our demise. DH is totally in the middle which sucks for him. BIL is unreasonable and won't change his psycho ways, so I feel like I need to just suck it up since DH has made it clear he isn’t cutting him off (and I get that is unreasonable).

Is it horrible that I secretly wish BIL would just move away (or disappear off the face of the earth) to solve this problem?
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics