Reply to Three months after I discover he cheated and this is what he says

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH went to give me a hug today and we did hug, briefly. I guess because I didn't kiss him he asked "how's the forgiveness coming?" I was immediately furious that he would even ask this. He then said "you know we won't be able to move forward until you do." THIS is his main concern? I hate him. I really do. [/quote]

You need to lay it out for him: trust is earned, not given. What is he doing to earn your trust?  Has he:  told you every detail you want to know about the cheating?  cut all contact?  participating in couples and individual therapy?  become completely transparent about his whereabouts and friendships? given you access to all online and communication accounts whether phone, email or app-based?  given you access to all financial accounts?

Has he done this consistently over a long period of time (say 6 months to 5 years?).

Next time he says something similar, tell him you are waiting and watching how he earns your trust back.  The currency of earned trust is action; words are worthless.[/quote]

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